It's only four more days until we get to have our ultrasound to see our bun that is now 19 weeks baked! You would think that would ease my mind, having such a short time to wait, but for some reason, as that day approaches, I continue to be more and more anxious!
The baby has been squirming around like crazy - pretty much every day. There will be times of stillness, but for the most part, this one's a mover and shaker, for sure! I can remember when we went for the anatomy scan and gender reveal ultrasound with Kaylee, she didn't cooperate at all. She was down low, and she kept moving into places where the tech was unable to get good measurements. We had ended up having to go the hospital so they could make sure everything was measuring correctly. Sure enough, she was perfect! This time around, the baby is riding high. I'm hoping this means that he or she will be easy to work with, come Tuesday!
What is my fear? I have that fear that, I suppose, every pregnant woman has. What if I go in there, and they tell me there is something wrong? I know that we will love this child, no matter what, but I hope and pray that he or she doesn't have to face any bigger challenges that those that are already ahead. My doctor asked me, at my last appointment, if we wanted to do any genetic testing. Of course, my reply was no. I love this child, and nothing can change that - now or ever. Still, I have that fear.
Yesterday evening, I had been watching television, facebooking and cruising Pinterest, as I do each evening, and the fear just seemed to overwhelm me. I try not to let it show because I don't want to scare Kaylee, and Gene just thinks I'm a fool for worrying about things out of my control. I decided that holding it in wasn't doing me any good either. So, what was I to do? I did the only thing I can do, and I handed it over to the Lord. Any situation He leads me to, I know He will be there to help me through it. I have to trust in that. I will pray each day, up until our ultrasound and each day thereafter, for His strength. I will pray that He watches over this little one as he or she continues to grow inside of me. I will pray that He will continue to watch over my son or daughter throughout the years to come. After all, our children are His children, first, last and always. He trusts them to our care and love during their short time here on earth.
"So, Lord, I ask this of you. Please hold unto my child, as you do, and provide me with the strength to help him or her grow into the precious gift that you intended for us. Grant me the peace I need to get through, not only the next four days, but to make it through the next 21 weeks. Thank you for all of your blessings!"
To all who take the time to read my ramblings, thank you!
Love and blessings,
Jessie
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