"Teachable Moments"

Free-falling into a pit of despair...

Okay, so life's not that far gone, yet, but I swear things are really starting to get to me more these days! The only thing worse than finding myself sad and discouraged is seeing my daughter that way. I guess it's that time in Kaylee's life to learn that not all people are nice.

Anyone that knows Kaylee, knows what an intelligent, fun-loving and friendly person she is. Many people are amazed that she manages to stay so up-beat with the "mean" parents she has. (We've been told by many people that we are way too hard on her, yet people admire what a well-behaved child she is.) Well, it's one thing for us to make her sad because we usually have a good reason. It's an entirely different story when someone else causes my child any kind of pain.

Recently, I have found myself down right angry when people are hurtful to Kaylee. Maybe it's my mother-hen mentality kicking in? Perhaps I regress to the memory all of the "bullies" I encountered in my life, and the thought of my child even having an ounce of that pain is pure anguish!

We all remember that saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I have always understood the thought behind this, but we all know what a false statement it actually is. What really gets my panties in a bunch is when full-grown people (I won't call them adults because they're far from it) can say something to insult your child. Children are very literal, so maybe, this is why they are more easily hurt. So what if my child makes up her own songs that make no sense to us? It's beautiful to her, and in my eyes, it's pretty creative for a four-year-old to make up a song and remember it! Just because you don't like me, don't take it out on my child! How does that foot taste?!! Grow up already!

One thing I did expect to deal with in raising children is the fact that kids can be mean. Trust me, I understand this, and I've dealt with it my entire life. How difficult is it, though, to teach your kids to be nice? I remind Kaylee, daily, that there are many people in the world, and we are all different. Different doesn't mean bad.

I grew up with a scewed perception of reality. In our community, there weren't openly gay couples, and there were few multiracial families. People married people who looked like them, and then they had children - in that order. Special needs kids were kept separate in schools, except during recess and lunch, and as children, we freaked out when they chased us around the playground like there were monsters after us. I look back at these memories, and they make me sad. That was the way, then, and our parents chose to raise us with the beliefs they were raised with. I know that my upbringing would have been far different with my parents today. Oh, the way my parents have changed throughout the years! I have to hand it to them for being able to become more openminded and easy-going with age! They were young parents doing the best they could the only way they knew how. I guess they didn't do too bad because they ended up with two openminded, kind-hearted girls!

I have family that dislike me because they think I am closeminded, even though they've taken no time to realize that my mindset is not that of our grandparents. I love my bestfriend and the wonderful man she married. I love the child they have, and I pray that being cross-cultured only makes her life more meaningful! I'm sure in her lifetime, some other child will ask her why she doesn't look like her mommy. I'm raising my child to know that trivial things like that aren't important - it's what's inside that matters most! I know that there are several people in my life that are far from traditional, but I wish them all the happiness in the world, and I hope they find their soulmates to spend eternity with!

A couple weeks ago, we were watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy, and two women were getting married. Kaylee was sitting in my lap, and knowing her curiosity, I knew a thought was building in that little head of hers. Finally, she turned to me and said, "There's two brides, Mama." I replied, "Uh-huh, does that confuse you?" She thought a minute and said, "No, but I want to marry a boy." Simple as that - it was over! I told her she could do whatever made her happy.

In that moment, I realized what a different upbringing our children have. They learn things so much earlier than we did. There is so much less time for them to actually be young and curious. Will I have to explain the "N-word" to Kaylee soon since her grandpa thinks it's okay to use around her? Probably. Does she already know a dozen words that kids shouldn't say? Yep! Are we teaching her that she shouldn't say them? Absolutely!

It seems very simple, teach your children right from wrong. Life is filled with "teachable moments" that can be utilized to show your child how to be a good person, or even learn a thing or two yourself! Those of us with children have the opportunity of a lifetime. We get to mold our children into decent human beings! How great is that?!! Now, it's up to you as parents to take advantage of that fact, and try your best to raise loving, caring and respectful children! Just remember that your child has watchful eyes and they are listening, even when you think they aren't. Lead by example, and take those "teachable moments" to do just that - teach!

Love and blessings,
Jessie